I once worked for a manager who thought everyone should bow down and kiss his feet. Okay, I’m not sure if he actually thought that, but that’s how it felt to me. He regularly canceled his one-on-ones with me. He interrupted me when I spoke at meetings. He tried to tell the people in my group what to do. (I put a stop to that, pretty darn quick.)
He undermined my self-confidence and everything I tried to accomplish in my organization.
When I realized what was going on, I gathered my managers. At the time, I was a Director of Many Things. I said, “Our VP is very busy. I think he has too many things on his plate. Here is what I would like to do. If he interrupts your work with a request, politely acknowledge him, and say, “Johanna will put that in our queue. She is managing our project portfolio.” If he interrupts you in a meeting, feel free to manage him the same way you manage me.” That got a laugh. “I am working with him on some customer issues, and I hope to resolve them soon.”
My managers and project managers kept on track with their work. We finished our deliverables, which was key to our success as an organization.
My relationship with my manager however, deteriorated even further. In three months, he canceled every single one-on-one. He was rude to me in every public meeting. I started looking for a new job.
I found a new job, and left my two week notice on his desk. He ran down the hall, swept into my office and slammed the door. He slammed my notice on my desk and yelled at me, “I don’t accept this! You can’t do this to me. You can’t leave. You’re the only director here accomplishing anything.”
I said, “Are you ready to have a one-on-one now?”
He said, “No. I’m busy. I’m too busy for a one-on-one.”
I said, “I’m leaving. We have nothing to discuss. You can put your head in the sand and try to not accept my resignation. Or, we can make my last two weeks here useful. What would you like?”
“You’re not done with me, Rothman!”
He stalked out of my office, and slammed the door on his way out. I got up and opened the door. I was never so happy to leave a job in my entire life.
Some managers don’t realize that they are not their title. Some managers don’t realize that the value they bring is the plus: the management, plus their relationship with their peers, the people they manage, the systems and environment they enable/create. This guy had created an environment of distrust.
That’s what this month’s management myth is all about: believing that I am More Valuable Than Other People.
If you are a manager, you do provide a valuable service: servant leadership. Make sure you do so.
